Just moments ago, VNN Chief Writer and smelly roadie Davy Jones returned after conquering the far off land of unemployment, only to rise to the status of Jewelry Store Employee, a rank held in high regard by women who like to date men for their money so they can look expensive and get more attractive, wealthy, and less intelligent men.

Davy is quoted as saying, "This is still here? Ffffffuuuuuuuuuck......"