This is a story I used on Allakhazam years ago and it got a lot of positive feedback. I'm putting it here to give you an idea of the kind of stuff my mind comes up with and also because it could be polished up, updated to be relevant, and used as a news story here. Sorry that it's just a text dump but here it is-
"Reporting in from rainy dreary La Theine, this is Hobbes. We are here waiting for the sighting of the elusive Lumbering Lambert (so we can trade its remains for a belt- don't ask us; the guy just told us he wanted some horns) and what else should be appearing right in front of us out of nothingness but the legendary Bloodtear Baldurf. We're keeping our distance as it peacefully walks around grazing and- MY ALTANA! It is now being quickly mobbed by a violent group of ruffians who immediately are setting out to kill it in what seems to be the most painful way possible. Diana, and all of you back in the studio- this is truly a scene of gore and some sort of contempt towards rams that I figure no human could or should ever hold so strongly. I'm not sure what this ram did to them but they are literally mobbed around it and bludgeoning viciously as though it killed their parents or stole their candy when they were but young children. The battle seems to be coming to a close as the ram seems to be nearly reduced to a skeleton and its very flesh, sheerings, and bone fragments are littering the ground around it in a gory unholy mess! Oh and now they are delivering the final blow- and its head has been completely removed from it's miserably beaten body. For the amount of abuse that these hoodlums gave the creature- they seem to be doing very well, not even having broken a sweat in their almost cult-like desecration of one of Altana's creations. What's this now- the leader seems very bothered and is now clawing through the animal's remains- desperately looking as though a child that just opened a Duchy Size container of Mithra Treats in order to find the sparkly, yet trivial, gift surprise inside. I can't make out what they're saying but they seem to be muttering about a "viking" or something or other. The group seems to be dissapointed and now they are departing the crime scene as the constant downpour of rain is washing away the massive amount of blood spilled here. Fortunately for the sake of the VanaDiel ecosystem- another full grown matured creature like this will appear in just a few days out of thin air with no evidence of having been the result of any sort of copulation, meiosis, or mitosis. This has been an amazing series of events and it's been an honor for the Bastokers Public News Network crew back at the studio and myself to bring you this intriguiing broadcast. Goodnight to all of you classy cats (humes, galkas, tarus, and elvaans) who are comfortably watching this from your warm, comfortable moghouses. "